Clothing is Such Sweet Sorrow...

God I hate being fat sometimes.

And not for the obvious reasons. Not for those reasons that most people hate it. More than anything, I hate the clothing situation. Now... I know how to dress my big body. I've been doing it for over a decade, and I think I've come to a point where I accept what I have, and hide what I don't really like.

I have very small boobs, and a very large butt. That figure is due, not only to genetics, but to my poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. The hormone imbalance I struggle with keeps my breasts small, and my stomach and hips quite large. Thanks a lot, God.

Anyway, what gets me, is the lack of selection for the big woman. Now, I'm not talking average, or slightly bigger than average, I wear a 26/28, so I know that I'm a BIG girl. But why the hell shouldn't I get to look cute? Isn't my money as good as a girl with a 32 inch waist?

Apparently not. There are only two options when you get to my size. Either you pay an arm and a leg to shop at places like Lane Bryant (my fave...) or Torrid (who actually don't carry 28), or you can try your luck at a plus size department in a regular store. These clothes are usually not in style, not fit to a real woman's body, and not great quality, but the prices are more normal.

The problem with Department/Low End stores is that their idea of a plus size department consists of Stretch pants, jeans with elastic waistbands, t-shirts with Winnie the Poo on them, and sportswear. I can't wear any of those to work. The occasional cute thing will come along and either be too small in the hips, or too short (I'm close to 6' tall btw)

I am a working mom, and as you can imagine, my budget doesn't really allow for much of a clothing allowance for me. 50 bucks a month is pushing it. I can buy 1 shirt at Lane Bryant for that, or three at Walmart, though neither has me particularly happy.

At this point I have 4 shirts I like well enough to wear to work. I work 5 days a week... so I have to repeat, or wear something that makes me feel like a moo cow.

The worst part for me is, I consider myself to have quite a sense of style. (toots own horn) I know that what I wear is boring, old-lady, mommy stuff with no flair. But what can I do? Better it fit well and be boring, than be stylish and have me tugging at it all day right?

So I've tried sewing my own clothes. My mom is a fantastic seamstress. Me? God I'm awful. Tonight I mangled the second project in a row. Too small through the hips, to long in the front, the neck is too small. Just shoot me now.

Why, oh why, is there not a line of clothing priced a little better than Lane Bryant, but just as cute? Torrid's flare for style coupled with Lane Bryant's great fit and all priced at Old Navy prices... It's not impossible. The industry just believes that most women, if they have let themselves get this fat, must not care about their appearance, so why bother. And those that do care... well let's milk them for all they're worth.

I know this has been a bit of a rant, but I believe this is a very real issue. And now that the average size in America is now a 16... I believe that someone going into this niche would make a whole HELL of a lot of money.

Especially from me.

Goodnight!