I made a horrible connection today.
You know how sometimes your brain goes on little journies without you, and you end regaining consciousness in the middle of the weirdest thoughts? No? Ok it's just me I guess...
Anyway, it was a coworker's birthday at work yesterday. (There was pie. It was so good. And it had fruit in it, so it totally didn't count) He was getting razzed because he'd just turned 29. Here comes 30! They kept telling him.
I smiled and began thinking to myself (here goes the train of thought... hang on, its a bumpy ride) I'm going to be 24 in a few weeks... and I so don't care about turning 30. I mean, maybe it'll be worse as I get closer to it, but really, I think a woman who ages gracefully is more beautiful than a young woman. I want to gain maturity, knowledge, maybe even a few smile lines. I mean really, what is the big deal about wrinkles?
I don't need botox, my body is pretty much outside the standard of beauty anyway, what are some lines on my face, my hands, my back or my boobs?
OH MY GOD. I AM GOING TO GET WRINKLES ON MY BOOBS.
At this moment... I became that woman I hate... that woman who dreads age... who cries about getting older. I cannot have wrinkly boobs! That is the worst fate you could wish on someone!
My boobs are my pride and joy. They are the one part of my body, that are plump, pretty and attractive. They fit the "norm" Standard of beauty. Not so big they're saggy, but big enough. And my cleavage is fantastic. Not a day goes by that I don't have someone looking at my chest. I don't mind... its a compliment really.
But what about when they're just as crappy looking as the rest of my body??
I swear to God, I had a breakdown last night thinking about this. I hate that I am that way... but insecurity comes with the uterus.
Anyway I am starting my new regimen of sunscreen asap. No more sun for those babies. They are going to stay creamy alabaster forever!
Comment time: Getting older... how's it feel? What is your biggest fear AND your biggest hope about getting on in years?
This gif is my spirit animal -
2 months ago