Hippo in Heels

Last night my husband and I got to go on a (much needed) date out. My fave babysitter M came over and watched my daughter (well, watched movies. The daughter was asleep) while DH and I went out.

Getting dressed up to go out is one of my favorite things to do. Though I don't have a huge selection, I do pride myself on my sense of style, and evenings out are a great venue for things that aren't appropriate for work, and aren't realistic for my mommy duties.

I wore my new Walmart dress (so sexy with the Lane Bryant plunge bra...) leggings and, you guessed it, heels.

Now, you need to know that on top of the fact that I'm fat and tall (5'11) I have abnormally large bones and joints. I once had a sports injury doctor tell me, at the tender age of 15, that I had a knee the same size as a 6'5" basketball player he was treating. He almost mixed up our x-rays. The previous year I thought I'd broken a finger and that x-ray tech said the joints in my fingers were "abnormally large for a girl my age." You know that phrase, big-boned? Turns out I am. Well, and I'm fat too.

Anyway, because of my height and freak-like bone structure, I wear large rings, large bracelets, and very large shoes. Size 11 wide or 12 wide, depending on the store. Yup, that is big.

I have many fat female family members, all of whom, though they are sad at the lack of clothing choices, are thrilled that at the very least, their accessories are good. Jewelry, shoes...

Me? I once again am forced to choose from the "special" aisle at the store. I'm not meaning to whine more (though I'm accomplishing that fairly well..) I just want you to understand why wearing heels (let alone owning heels) is a big deal for me.

Because of the size and make-up of my feet, and my height, I really have never worn heels. Granted I've bought a few pairs, vowed to learn to walk in them, and then had them relegated to the back of my closet. They never fit right, and even when they do, the tendons in my legs are screaming "WTF?" the whole time I wear them.

That is, until this pair of shoes came along. Oh how I love them. Payless special, size 11 Wide. Black, rounded toe, mary-jane strap to keep them on, and only about a 2.5 inch heel. Perfect! My sister bought them for me when I told her I'd tried them on and they were comfy. She had a cow and said "I'm buying these for you NOW!!!"

So last night, I venture out of the house in them. I feel fantastic. Well... sort of. I kind of feel like a Hippo in heels when I wear shoes like that. Not that they aren't great... but think about it: Let's put a 360 pound, 5'11" tall woman into shoes that channel all of that weight into two small dots at the back of these shoes. Yikes!

Even though I'm getting better at walking in them, and not going CLOMP CLOMP, I still feel like at any moment one of the stilts is going to snap and TIMBER... down I will go.

Now that would not be a fun end to the evening. I am not graceful... I do not fall well.

Well, the evening went off without a hitch. I didn't trip or fall once, and even though I was a good 7 inches taller than my husband in them, I felt great.

Note to self: Wear heels more. They make you feel like a normal girl... which is super rare.

Ok, new thing I'm trying out... Comment Questions. I'm going to ask a question at the end of the blog and you answer in the comment section... So Answer! Ready?

Question: What clothes, accessories, or features about yourself make you feel extra sexy/pretty/cute/normal? Is there a certain "it factor" for you that makes you feel less like the token fat girl, and more like a sex symbol? What is it, do you flaunt it, and why is it so special to you?

Alright guys... Fatty out!

God it's gorgeous outside

For me, good weather isn't sun. It isn't clear skies and warm breezes. Nope. It is dark, gloomy, cloudy, rainy and windy. And that is what it is outside RIGHT NOW! :)

Hooray!

So I was reading one of FB's friend's blogs. I can't remember which one (if you know, please comment and tell me...) she wrote about a terrible experience she had flying. The whole seat-belt extender thing... God I would have been pissed.

Anyway, I'm terrified about this very thing. I have asked for (and am pretty sure I'm getting) a promotion at work. I'd go from being a Sales Assistant (i.e. Secretary...) to an estimator. I'd be doing work that the MEN at my company do, and getting better pay, more respect and a lot of room for promotion. Hooray right?

Well, yes. And no. The guy in line before me is being trained right now. When he's done I'm up next. And guess what? Week two, he's already flying across the country for bid meetings and plant tours. And I'm freaking terrified.

I don't hate flying or anything. I love to travel, see new places. I'm even one of those weird people who LOVE staying in hotels... it's like an adventure. But how do I tell my employer, that they may have to buy an extra seat for me? How do I sit next to a (male) coworker on a plane and, with any dignity left, request a seat-belt extender? What if I don't fit? Will they pay for me to have two seats?

I don't think so. They just won't send me. And I'll be the liability that can't fly to new sites, because of my weight. God. How pathetic is that?

Will my weight keep me from progressing in my job? Is it really more than self-image and health, is this going to affect my career?

Shit.